An Ode to DJs
I have a complicated relationship with perceiving the art of DJ’ing. Like many slavs of my generation, my first encounter with a DJ was at a Polish wedding as a kid. I wrote them off immediately lol. I grew up wanting to play music on electric guitar and the musicians I grew up around typically looked down on DJ’ing and electronic music.
I did not encounter DJ’s again until my early 20’s. I had just moved to Philly and was desperate to find any work. I ended up cobbling together a living from a roster of completely different jobs: managing a boutique pet supply store, mailing scientific data for the linguistics department of UPenn, and by night - DJ’ing the lighting at a few different electronic nightclubs in Philly & Atlantic City, NJ.
I have no idea how or why I had any of those jobs - but I distinctly remember the events leading up to the last one. I was scouring craigslist ads for most of 2010-2011, looking for any gig that paid as much money as possible per hour. I saw a listing seeking a “female lighting operator” at an undisclosed nightclub in Cesar’s casino in Atlantic City, NJ. It paid $300 per night, in cash. That was nearly my entire monthly rent - so you know I had to jump at it. At this time in life, my main priority was having band practice at any available time with the garage-punk band I played drums in.
I had been a lighting operator in high school, as a hardcore member of our school’s theatre program. I was such a nerd about it too, and ended up being the co-head of the lighting crew my senior year. I was only in it to be part of the tech theatre crew because that was where all the freaks and weirdos could be found. I had no idea that this random experience would lead me to pursue a bachelor’s degree in filmmaking and qualify me for life-saving jobs in my adult future.
While seeking work as a college student at emerson in Boston, I was employed by their blackbox theatre doing sound and lighting work. This helped me out a lot because it paid fairly well at the time for on-campus jobs (and my only qualification for it was my experience with my high school tech theatre crew). After I graduated, I worked full time as a digital content creator for a regional labor union while performing whatever side work I could to save up as much money as possible (in order to move to Philly and pick up the drums). One of these side jobs was picking up shifts at the Middle East Downstairs in Cambridge, MA doing lighting work. I still remember one of the members of Youth Brigade encouraging me to use the green lighting gels for their set, when briefly discussing their lighting needs before the show. Green gels were always a hard sell, but being a huge fan of this lighting, I always pushed for it lol. Bless Youth Brigade forever for that validating opportunity!
I went for an “interview” in Atlantic City after hearing back about that craigslist post seeking a “female lighting operator” in 2010 or 2011. The first thing I asked was “why are you seeking a ‘female’ lighting operator, specifically?” My boss told me bluntly: “because women won’t threaten my job.” IM SURE YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW *FUN* IT WAS WORKING FOR THIS MAN. Probably a sociopath - he seemed to have a monopoly on outfitting local area clubs with their tech needs. He set up all the lighting fixtures/moving lights, LED mood lighting throughout the club, fog and haze machines, confetti canons, and even dictated the “motion graphics” needs of the spaces through any TV monitors. Everything was controlled by the “lighting DJ” from the DJ booth on a series of boards and monitors. He made sure to use proprietary systems every step of the way to weed out any people seeking to put him out of work as a result of mastering his rig. The man had no artistic taste to speak of and any dealing with him was a massive struggle. But the job paid what I needed, so I bit my tongue and showed up on time. Some random photos I found on my computer from work then:
The club in Atlantic City mainly played “top 40 hits” (usually for bachelor/bachelorette parties) and the DJ’s were typically an hour late for their shift (during which we would just play an iPod mix until they got there and patrons typically couldn’t tell the difference). Because the lighting DJ (me) stood next to the real DJ, people would often mistake me for the audio DJ. “PLAY THAT LADY GAGA SONG I LUV” some drunk bro would yell at me, before crumpling up a $5 bill and throwing it over the plexiglass at my head. (I picked it up afterward and threw it back at his head.) “I’m NOT the DJ!!!” I would yell back with some misguided pride.
My friends and I would laugh at club-goers and their chosen music. See ancient screenshots from facebook circa 2011:
I’m not sure when this started happening, but I eventually found myself looking forward to certain parts of the night when I knew my “favorites” would come on. The closer we got to midnight, I knew there was a good chance that Steve Aoki’s remix of Kid Cudi’s “Pursuit of Happniess” featuring MGMT/Ratatat would be coming on. A catchy tune about addiction, mental health, and night terrors, though I suspect it is about a lot more than that. As the track culminated towards the inevitable beat drop, I would hit the blackout button causing all the moving lights to turn off. When the sweet relief of the drop finally arrived (the one just after the 5-minute mark on the track), I hit the sparkling strobes. They were programmed to “twinkle” above the dance floor, mimicking a thunder/lightning storm occurring somewhere in a void. The energy I felt from everyone in the club seemed to permeate every single body, and over time it seeped into mine as well. I didn’t get it before, but I suddenly understood the role of the DJ as the LITERAL HEARTBEAT of a DANCE FLOOR of living, breathing humans. What a fucking privilege and honor.
One particularly terrifying night at the club in Atlantic City, I saw firsthand what the DJ meant to everyone. It was either 2011 or 2012, and all the wealthy investors of the club were visiting for one night only to see how we were doing. Of course this was the one night we had technical difficulties - the sound kept cutting out! Me, having plenty lighting experience but VERY LITTLE practical audio experience - could not figure out why the sound kept cutting out this night. At one crucial point - the sound cut out for long enough to drop the beat of the song for UNCOMFORTABLY LONG. It was close to midnight - so the floor was packed and the drunken crowd was PISSED. The longer the sound was out - the angrier they got. Until one blessed moment - where someone in the crowd started singing. “You- you got what I NEED” he yelled. “CUZ U SAY IM JUST A FRIEND, CUZ U SAY IM JUST A FRIEND”. Suddenly, the whole dance floor started chanting the words with him, rendering Biz Markie’s song “Just a Friend”. My manager was flailing around me (a suit-and-tie guy that absolutely wanted to murder me on most days, but especially in that moment) as I scrambled to find out why the speakers kept cutting out. I later found out that the power plug for the speakers was hanging out of its socket due to the rocking vibrations from the bass output. (Whenever I am troubleshooting sound problems at a live show these days, I now instinctually always check the power connections first out of this learned experience lol). I couldn’t work that location for this job for the next few months because that is how pissed the managers were at me (the owners were there that night, observing us from the VIP table, after all, and all our asses were on the line). I stuck to shifts only at the other two clubs which were both in Philly. It was fine after I dyed my hair - “Don’t worry, they won’t remember you’re the same girl” my shitty boss reassured me at my first gig back in Atlantic City.
When I moved back to Boston after getting sick, I started going to any show I could find. My musical taste was no longer loyal to any one genre and it never would be again. If it was local and I had the time to go, I would absolutely check out that improvisational experimental show or the techno night in some basement, I truly did not give a fck. For the first time in my life - I actually went out dancing.
Over time, I was exposed to incredible DJ’s/producers that continue to inspire me daily. DJ Haram, Dee Diggs, DJ Cobra B, just to name a few.
My life partner of the past 5 years also happens to be a DJ and I express gratitude for my luck every day. Whenever I am hopelessly sad, all I have to do is hang outside his bedroom door or window long enough to catch some sounds. Instant healing. If you also struggle with your mental health on a daily basis, I highly recommend finding a DJ and some room to dance in.